Cool Guy 5 Lyrics by Adam Sandler

Cool Guy 5

-{Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker-

GIRL #5: Hey, honey.

SEAN: S'up baby? looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby? You want to use me as a blanket?

GIRL #5: I'm just doing my thing.

SEAN: Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky? 'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.

GIRL #5: Well, how much you got, big man?

SEAN: Well, I'm willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there's a condition going on.

GIRL #5: What's that?

SEAN: You're going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on... my... slub-a-dub.

GIRL #5: Ooh, I can do that.

SEAN: You can?

GIRL #5: Mm-hmm.

SEAN: You mean, you ain't going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a "slub-a-dub"?

GIRL #5: Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks.

SEAN: oh sna well, alright then here's the 50 dollars, -{unzips pants- and here's my flip stick, now start wetting that thing up.

GIRL #5: -{Opens his door- Sir, you are under arrest.

-{police car pulls up-

SEAN: You got to be fucking with mind here.

GIRL #5: No, I'm not.

COP: Good job denise. we'll take him from here.

-{Cop hand cuffs Sean-

SEAN: WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip 'n' slide? Fuck that shit.

GIRL #5: Hey honey,when you get to jail, you're going to be on the other end of a slip 'n' slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself.

SEAN: WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!

-{cop throws sean in back of police car-

COP: Just get in the back, asshole.

GIRL #5: -{from outside- You sick fuck.

SEAN: Damn!! -{crying- This is a bunch of bullshit!!!

PEEPER: Piss on me. -{also in the back of the police car-

SEAN: WHAT?!

PEEPER: Please, piss me.

SEAN: NO!!!

PEEPER: Just a tinkle.

SEAN: Fuck that, keep him away from me.

PEEPER: Urine.

SEAN: Keep this man away from me.