Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Lyrics by Adam Sandler

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)

He said he'd be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
It's too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mama try out a new doo [Bruins]

He said he'd be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 [already?]
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mama's combing up a big beehive [Celtics]

Where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?

The bitch doesn't even bother calling
Even though it's 7:44 [I fell asleep, pally]
I'm feeling kinda antsy
Mama's getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour [Red Sox]

He said he'd be here at seven
It's closing in on 8:01 [Trimmin' the stache, kid]
Me lookin' like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mama's next move is a bun [fuckin' Patriots]

Where the fuck is he? [My pants are still in the dryer, dude]
Where the fuck is he? [I couldn't find my fuckin' snowboots, pal]
I wish I had a car [Huge, huge hangover]
Oh, no [Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive]

That stupid little punk
He's probably fuckin' drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mama's eyebrow

Wicked good
Wicked good [Oh, GOD]
Wicked good
Wicked good [Fuck yeah]
Wicked good
Wicked good [Pisser?]

Well my friend is still a no-show
And I'm getting' fucking pissed [Why?]
Cause I could've gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mama's on the phone with a stylist [Fuck Charlie!]

So I guess I ain't going out tonight
Cause the digits say 12:09 [Shit-faced]
But call the operator
Cause one perm later
Mama's hair sure do look fine [Heffenreffer!!!]

Where the fuck is he? [Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin' me a wicked funny
joke!]
Where the fuck is he? [Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though]

I wish I had a car
I wish I had a car [A cop pulled me over, buddy]

I wish I went with Charlie [5.2 blood level, state record]
I could have gone with Charlie [I'm in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!]

He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He got a D.W.I. [Up the river [repeat 9x]]