The Buffoon & The Valedictorian Lyrics by Adam Sandler

The Buffoon & The Valedictorian

Performed by adam sandler and jennifer lien


"and now the buffoons date at the drive-in with the schools valedictorian."

Valedictorian: "i really appreciate youre asking me out. most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Buffoon: "this movie sucks shit!"

Valedictorian: "well, ebel gave it thumbs up, but ciscel thought it was too preachy. anyway, I enjoyed the directors last film immensly."

Buffoon: "cathleen turner has big fuckin tits!"

Valedictorian: "yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesnt she? "

Buffoon: "i put a firecracker in a bullfrogs mouth and blew his fuckin head off."

Valedictorian: "well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."

Buffoon: "that girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."

Valedictorian: "well, I guess shes strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: "this popcorns fuckin terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it."
[buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

Valedictorian: "well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a
Dish prank."

Buffoon: "i looked at my asshole in the mirror today. it blew my fuckin mind!"

Valedictorian: "its ironic that parts of ones body seems odd and unusual because you dont see them on a day to day basis.

Buffoon: "my fathers shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin day!"

Valedictorian: "its puzzling why one persons fecal odor can be more overpowering than anothers. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that persons internal metabolis
Ot;

Buffoon: "im gonna go get head from that fuckin girl."
[gets out of the car]

Valedictorian: "well, Im sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion."
[buffoon walking away]
"i do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue."

Buffoon: "i like to piss in that guys fuckin gas tank!"

Valedictorian: "bye bye! have fun."
[buffoon continues to walk away]