If I Had A $1,000,000 Lyrics by Barenaked Ladies

If I Had A $1,000,000

If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you a house [I would buy you a house]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you furniture for your house
[Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you a K-Car [a nice Reliant automobile]
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I Had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I Had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there.
[Wouldn't that be fabulous]

If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you a fur coat [but not a real fur coat that's cruel]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you an exotic pet [Like a llama or an emu]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains [All them crazy elephant bones]
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
[But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive ketchup with it.
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Ketchup. Mmmmmm.]

If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you a green dress [but not a real green dress, that's cruel]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you some art [a Picasso or a Garfunkel]
If I Had $1000000 [If I Had $1000000]
I'd buy you a monkey [haven't you always wanted a monkey?]
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
I'd be rich.