The Laughing Gnome Lyrics by David Bowie

The Laughing Gnome

I was walking down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man [hello]
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away [laughter]
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly [oaah..]
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day [laughter]

Oh, I ought to report you to the gnome office
[gnome office]
Yes
[hahahahaha]

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me"
Said the laughing gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine [burp, pardon]
Then I put him on a train to eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
[havent you got a light boy? ]
"here, where do you come from? "
[gnome-mans land, hahihihi]
"oh, really? "

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was fred
Hed bought him along to sing me a song

Right, lets hear it
Here, whats that clicking noise?
[thats fred, hes a "metrognome", haha]

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me"

[own up, Im a gnome, aint I right, haha]
"havent you got an ome to go to? "
[no, were gnomads]
"didnt they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a rolling gnome."
[no, not at the london school of ecognomics]

Now theyre staying up the chimney
And were living on caviar and honey [hooray!]
Cause theyre earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
Its the-er [what? ]
Its the gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me"
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

[ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me"]

[one more time, yeah]