Dance Contest Lyrics by Frank Zappa

Dance Contest

Frank zappa [lead guitar, vocals]
Ike willis [rhythm guitar, vocals]
Ray white [rhythm guitar, vocals]
Steve vai [rhythm guitar, vocals]
Warren cucurullo [rhythm guitar, vocals]
Denny walley [slide guitar, vocals]
Tommy mars [keyboards, vocals]
Peter wolf [keyboards]
Bob harris [keyboards, trumpet, vocals]
Ed mann [percussion]
Arthur barrow [bass, vocals]
Vinnie colaiuta [drums]

Fz:
"one of, one of the things that I like best about playing in new york is this particular place, because it has - it has a stage that is conducive to, how you say in the trade, audience part
Tion. now if theres one thing that I really like, its, uh, audience participation. now listen... I gotta figure out something that I can, uh - do you think we should have another dance contest
Ght? oh, hey - the injured person dance contest. ah, well, lets see...awright, Ill tell you what were going to do. heres a, heres a guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety,
Ighty, hey. okay..."

Butch:
"you are great, man - you are great. you are the best, baby. do dinah-moe humm."

Fz:
"all right, now wait a minute - whats your name? hey, hey - whats your name? "

Butch:
"butch."

Fz:
"awright, the dynamic butch. heres, heres a girl that wants to dance with butch. whats your name? "

Lena:
"lena."

Fz:
"what? "

Lena:
"lena."

Fz:
"lena, meet butch. okay, lena and butch, couple number one. heh heh. okay, lets see - that guy there, with his...that - that one there with the teeshirt on - no, no, the other one - this o
No, no - no no no, wait a minute, wait... well, youre - actually, youre very nice, though. would you like to come up here? ...okay, but dyou think you can behave yourself? you, youre sure yo
Behave yourself? ...okay, whats your name? "

Guy:
"tom, man. [mumble, mumble] you, baby, I [mumble, mumble][gurgle] you [mumble, mmf, etc.]."

Guy:
"arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc."

Fz:
"awright, now wait a minute. awright, awright, now wait..."

Guy:
"[mumble, mmf.] ugliness! ugliness!"

Other guy:
"frank, youre my buddy! arrgh, mmf."

Fz:
"awright, wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. if youre out there and youre cute, maybe youre beautiful, I just
To tell you somethin - theres more of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. now..."

Guy [butch? ]:
"will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe? "

Fz:
"sure. all right, now you - he wants to get his girlfriend - go get your girlfriend."

Girl:
"hey zap!"

Fz:
"good to see you again."

Girl:
"squeak!"

Fz:
"i know."

Guy:
"i aint no fucking queer."

Fz:
"all right, now look, heres what were going to do. awright. now. this - theyll be mashed, Ill save them, Ill save them for later."

Guy:
"im not a fucking queer."

Fz:
"this man is trying desperately to let everybody know that hes not a queer. hes not queer, hes not queer. awright, and now... you are going to dance, like youve never danced before...&q