Rod Hull Is Alive Why Lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

Rod Hull Is Alive Why

A doyen of Topiary once told me,
That one day he would like to grow a maze,
It seemed to be quite logical
That this should be his wish.
And with that
We both went our separate ways.

They said you died at 7:00 ["seven"] due to something in your head.
I asked the Sister why it wasn't someone else instead!
Tonight I cry myself a bath of tears and ask the world,
"Why is Rod Hull alive, and getting paid as well!?"

I heard a palace spokesman mention Sarah.
Said she'd known the groins of Jaques LaFitte.
She's well-prepared to be a standard-bearer.
As pure as the proverbial driven sleet!

Halfway up the reekin' with an empty flask of tea,
A fog descends and takes away my visibility.
Yet in this Helen Keller state, I'd still quite like to know
Why is Rod Hull alive, and getting paid as well!

And I wonder if they'll bring back
National Service and the Birch
And I wonder must I doubt if
They'll ever bring back The Watney Cup