This Is What We Find Lyrics by Ian Dury And The Blockheads

This Is What We Find

[spoken]
Morning Reg, meat and two veg? He done him with a ten-pound sledge, he done himself a favour Crash!

Forty-year old housewife Mrs Elizabeth Walk of Lambeth Walk
Had a husband who was jubblified with only half a stalk
So she had a Milk of Magnesia and curry powder sandwich, half a pound of uncut pork
Took an overdose of Omo, this made the neighbours talk

[spoken]
Could have been watching Frankie Vaughn on the telly and giving herself a scratch

[Chorus]
This is what we find [x 4]
A sense of humour is required, amongst the bacon rind

[spoken]
Hello Brian, wash and iron? Try it on, it's only nylon

Single batchelor with little dog Tony Green of Turnham Green
Said 'who's a clever boy then girl, now you know whom I mean'
For the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit of the playground of the park where they had been
And with a bit of tissue, he wiped its bumhole clean

[spoken]
A bit of claggy on the waggy

[Chorus]
This is what we find [x4]
They must have had a funny time, on the Golden Hind

[spoken, reverb]
O vanitas vanitatum, which of us is happy in his life
Which of us has our desire, or having it, is gratified

[spoken]
Hello Mrs Wood, this boy looks familiar, they used to call him Robin Hood.
Now he's Robin fucking shit cunt

Home improvement expert Harold Hill of Harold Hill
Of Do-It-Yourself dexterity, and double glazing skill
Came home to find another gentleman's kippers in the grill
So he sanded off his winkle with his Black and Decker drill

[Chorus]
This is what we find [x4]
The hope that springs eternal, springs right up your behind!
This is what we find [repeat to fade]